I haven't had a “real job” in ten years. The last time I taught a full semester was before my oldest daughter was born. I miss the act of teaching and the students, but the freedom I have when I make my work full time is just too much to give up for a consistent paycheck. That said, I do miss the option of clocking out—of five o’clock hitting and being able to turn work mode off and get my brain back.
Working for myself, I’m a good employee but a lousy boss. I work most nights, some weekends; I don’t tally the hours, but I don’t stop moving. I’m constantly afraid the bottom will drop out and I’ll have to get an actual job. Luckily, I guess, I like working.
Every year the studio goes through cycles. There are three- to four-month waves where I’m inundated, have too many projects, a bunch of commissions, and things stacking up on deck, and I cannot possibly complete everything; or it’s the opposite— nothing seems to be happening and things move s l o w l y. When things get slow I tell myself this is OK. I tell myself now I have time to work on new things, that this time is a gift . . . but there is always a shadow stretching in my peripheral vision. I bounce between feeling nervous that I don’t have something big coming in and stressed because I have too many things to do and I’m certain I won’t get them all done. Either way I’m filled with anxiety and/or dread. And when I’m filled with anxiety and/or dread, I make art. When I’m happy, I also make art. All roads lead back to the studio.
I started writing this particular newsletter about three months ago during one of my slow times—and then got hit by a flood of commissions and other projects. I’m just now coming out of it.
Here’s what’s happened since my last newsletter in May:
In addition to being a place to complain, I see the FOLD as a way to peel back the curtain and discuss what being an artist is really like for me. There is stress and anxiety but also joy. This month, I’m working on some things for the U.S. Department of State’s Art Bank Program, a Life Science building in Boston, and planning a class for next summer at Penland (more on that soon). The big news of the moment is that I’m in a show in Houston at the end of September.
September 28, at Dimmitt Contemporary Art, I’ll be showing new work alongside Matthew Hawtin and John Holt Smith. If you live in the area, please come through and say hello.
I was waiting for the bus this morning with my fifth grader, and I told her about the show and how I wanted it to be special. I haven’t traveled for a show in a while. She said I should have a secret code word and that if you—reading this now—come to the opening and whisper it to me, I should give you a piece. I said, “A whole piece?” She said, “No, like a loose piece.” I love this idea. Come find me in Houston, say Snails, and I’ll hand you something like this:
See you in Texas?
M
Matt, I love Lotus"s (?) idea! Only kids could think of the give away and attach it to a secret word :-) Please tell her 'Good idea!' for me.
I also love your Unholy series. I imagine you won't keep the red one long.
The number of you that came up to me in Houston and whispered SNAILS... I was floored. I enjoyed meeting each of you and giving you a piece. Those that brought books to SIGN. <3 <3 This is the reason I do this. Art connects people in the best way.