I've been not well and it’s manifesting in my work. Living with a chronic illness is pretty terrible. On the spectrum of people with Crohn’s disease my life is manageable, but also not normal. I’ve had five surgeries in the past ten years but major incidents aside, it’s me accepting a body that is not dependable. I have eternal stomach issues, joint pain in hands and spine, eye inflammation (a real chef’s kiss for a visual artist). My diet is a restricted version of the low FODMAP diet. (Look it up if you want to remove 10 percent of the joy from your life.) If I waver, it’s a shit show. I’m stuck driving a 1986 Ford Taurus of a body. I keep it in best condition I can, but its a beater and I know it.
Thanks for sharing. Life with chronic illness is tough. Experiencing a massive traumatic brain injury turned me on to what I do now. It's definitely a window.
Thank you for sharing this very personal information and challenges. One would conclude that you approach your work with both concentration and complete peace of mind given the beauty you produce and creativity behind it. One never knows - right? I have a neurological challenge resulting in weakness in one leg. I fell at one of my significant BD parties (while dancing) which left me with a fractured wrist. My artwork, my paper cutting was put on hold. But I am grateful for this creative outlet which allows me to "get out of my head". But, I know what you mean, for me, once out in the world, I cannot escape my challenge. I wish you well and many years ahead producing your amazing work!!!
May 30, 2023·edited May 31, 2023Liked by Matthew Shlian
Much love MS> It's a tough battle (fortunate to not have extreme issues) and I share the same sentiment but starting to wonder (Cue Shlian eyeroll), "what if my body is me?" It's hard knowing that your body is ultimately trying to kill you all day every second, but missing out on that connection has also caused me issues. I don't have any huge insight beyond this yet but missing out on the "mind, spiritual, body" thing has not served me well. Totally relate with "The best parts of my day are when I leave my body. When I am lost in work I am not really there." The mirror window thing also resonates, as I see both in my work. It's hard to detach the two...
We see the artwork but rarely see the artist. Thank you for sharing. I, too, have had that out-of-body experience, though I wasn’t seriously ill at the time. I wasn’t frightened or confused, just accepted and enjoyed it. I’ve rarely spoken about it and never really cared if people believed me or not.
Matt - I truly appreciate your candor and vulnerability in sharing your story. Having found myself diagnosed with Lymphocytic Colitis, I can relate to the challenges of diet and body fighting each other. Add getting older to that and it all seems to propel our lives on a path we often try to escape. Yet I am also in awe of your ability to write in detail about your near-death experience with such clarity. But whether your artwork was a window before that or after, I have always found inspiration in it. Finding that flow, that ability to escape time, space, and place within the creative act of making is truly a gift that few are able to receive.,,,,,
I really appreciate you sharing your personal story. I knew you had Chrohn's from previous conversations but you opened my eyes to how difficult it can be for you. If it's at all possible, It makes me value your beautiful work even more now and I'm so thankful to have one hanging in my home to enjoy every single day.
Keep doing what you're doing. You are valued by so many.
Thank you for sharing this Matt, I appreciate you being so honest with us all! Your work has certainly been a window for me, and we are currently hanging one of your pieces in our new apartment (one of my life goals is to be able to buy one of your larger works).
Anyway, your work has not only allowed me to see and experience new things, but it is also a source of peace for me... I wasn't previously aware of the struggles you are facing, and knowing more about your personal journey brings yet another layer of meaning to your work... So thank you for sharing not only your story but your art with the world!
Oh Matt, I wish you didn't have to live with all these health problems. I am glad art takes you away from it sometimes. I find that to be true as well. Unfortunately, what takes my mind off pain also causes some of it. Like all things it is a balancing act. Thank you for sharing this with us.
Hi Matt - I have always been amazed and astounded by your work and now even more so. I am grateful for you sharing your journey through life in a beat-up 1986 Ford Taurus of a body. I wish I were my 2005 Lotus Elise (would you call her old?) that growled on the straightaway and hugged curves like a gecko on glass and for the energy I had back then (or at least I think I had the energy). I have fatigue issues and tummy aches which doctors have not been able to figure it out (not thyroid, not hormonal imbalance, etc.) so I keep trying things - eating better (which seems to have helped with the tummy issues), walking when I have the energy, planning things around knowing I will be tired the next day after meeting with wonderful friends, building in time to recover from trips while on a trip, etc. And if I can work from my bed that props me up with laptop then that is what I do. I can handle a 2 hour zoom call sitting up in a comfy office chair and with my most favorite teachers I could go on for 3 hours! Yet when I am folding paper or making a special something for someone hours go by and I look up and feel the ache between my shoulders. Have there been fMRIs to see where we go in our brains when we create? Sigh! Am kinda hoping you may have a zoom class or 2 but understand that life may and will pull you in other directions. So how do you handle being at Penland, PBI or other conferences? E malama pono as they say in Hawaiian, take care, Matt, and mahal nui loa! Jade
There is a Netflix mini series on near death experiences and other paranormal experiences. I cant remember the name but it is more common than you think. I am sorry for your chronic disease.. I have severe BPCO so I can understand when you say that art takes us on a vacation from our bodily misfunctions. Courage and acceptance (in reason)! Better days ahead.
Yes, I believe you are right when you say you are not your body. Well, at least not all of you. ;). My faith says we are spirit - with a body, not a body with a spirit., as many believe, and it sounds like your experience too. So glad you are still here making your wonderful art that fulfills you and mesmerizes us. ❤️
Your entry reminds me of this quote, a sentiment that lingers when I am engaged in my studio practice:
“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.”
― Pierre Teilhard de Chardin
Thanks for sharing. Life with chronic illness is tough. Experiencing a massive traumatic brain injury turned me on to what I do now. It's definitely a window.
Thank you for sharing this very personal information and challenges. One would conclude that you approach your work with both concentration and complete peace of mind given the beauty you produce and creativity behind it. One never knows - right? I have a neurological challenge resulting in weakness in one leg. I fell at one of my significant BD parties (while dancing) which left me with a fractured wrist. My artwork, my paper cutting was put on hold. But I am grateful for this creative outlet which allows me to "get out of my head". But, I know what you mean, for me, once out in the world, I cannot escape my challenge. I wish you well and many years ahead producing your amazing work!!!
Much love MS> It's a tough battle (fortunate to not have extreme issues) and I share the same sentiment but starting to wonder (Cue Shlian eyeroll), "what if my body is me?" It's hard knowing that your body is ultimately trying to kill you all day every second, but missing out on that connection has also caused me issues. I don't have any huge insight beyond this yet but missing out on the "mind, spiritual, body" thing has not served me well. Totally relate with "The best parts of my day are when I leave my body. When I am lost in work I am not really there." The mirror window thing also resonates, as I see both in my work. It's hard to detach the two...
Praying for you.
We see the artwork but rarely see the artist. Thank you for sharing. I, too, have had that out-of-body experience, though I wasn’t seriously ill at the time. I wasn’t frightened or confused, just accepted and enjoyed it. I’ve rarely spoken about it and never really cared if people believed me or not.
Matt - I truly appreciate your candor and vulnerability in sharing your story. Having found myself diagnosed with Lymphocytic Colitis, I can relate to the challenges of diet and body fighting each other. Add getting older to that and it all seems to propel our lives on a path we often try to escape. Yet I am also in awe of your ability to write in detail about your near-death experience with such clarity. But whether your artwork was a window before that or after, I have always found inspiration in it. Finding that flow, that ability to escape time, space, and place within the creative act of making is truly a gift that few are able to receive.,,,,,
Hi Matt,
I really appreciate you sharing your personal story. I knew you had Chrohn's from previous conversations but you opened my eyes to how difficult it can be for you. If it's at all possible, It makes me value your beautiful work even more now and I'm so thankful to have one hanging in my home to enjoy every single day.
Keep doing what you're doing. You are valued by so many.
Take care of yourself,
Leanne
Thank you for sharing this Matt, I appreciate you being so honest with us all! Your work has certainly been a window for me, and we are currently hanging one of your pieces in our new apartment (one of my life goals is to be able to buy one of your larger works).
Anyway, your work has not only allowed me to see and experience new things, but it is also a source of peace for me... I wasn't previously aware of the struggles you are facing, and knowing more about your personal journey brings yet another layer of meaning to your work... So thank you for sharing not only your story but your art with the world!
Oh Matt, I wish you didn't have to live with all these health problems. I am glad art takes you away from it sometimes. I find that to be true as well. Unfortunately, what takes my mind off pain also causes some of it. Like all things it is a balancing act. Thank you for sharing this with us.
Hi Matt, thanks for taking the time to share what you're going through. Your perspective on the world always leave an impact on me.
Hi Matt - I have always been amazed and astounded by your work and now even more so. I am grateful for you sharing your journey through life in a beat-up 1986 Ford Taurus of a body. I wish I were my 2005 Lotus Elise (would you call her old?) that growled on the straightaway and hugged curves like a gecko on glass and for the energy I had back then (or at least I think I had the energy). I have fatigue issues and tummy aches which doctors have not been able to figure it out (not thyroid, not hormonal imbalance, etc.) so I keep trying things - eating better (which seems to have helped with the tummy issues), walking when I have the energy, planning things around knowing I will be tired the next day after meeting with wonderful friends, building in time to recover from trips while on a trip, etc. And if I can work from my bed that props me up with laptop then that is what I do. I can handle a 2 hour zoom call sitting up in a comfy office chair and with my most favorite teachers I could go on for 3 hours! Yet when I am folding paper or making a special something for someone hours go by and I look up and feel the ache between my shoulders. Have there been fMRIs to see where we go in our brains when we create? Sigh! Am kinda hoping you may have a zoom class or 2 but understand that life may and will pull you in other directions. So how do you handle being at Penland, PBI or other conferences? E malama pono as they say in Hawaiian, take care, Matt, and mahal nui loa! Jade
I'm grateful to receive your blog in my email, and today's post is a reminder to me to appreciated every moment that I'm upright and able. Thank you.
There is a Netflix mini series on near death experiences and other paranormal experiences. I cant remember the name but it is more common than you think. I am sorry for your chronic disease.. I have severe BPCO so I can understand when you say that art takes us on a vacation from our bodily misfunctions. Courage and acceptance (in reason)! Better days ahead.
Yes, I believe you are right when you say you are not your body. Well, at least not all of you. ;). My faith says we are spirit - with a body, not a body with a spirit., as many believe, and it sounds like your experience too. So glad you are still here making your wonderful art that fulfills you and mesmerizes us. ❤️
Loved this ♥️